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The wind blew heavily on our bedroom window and I was losing the battle between a good night’s sleep and a restless mind. A lot had happened in our lives in the past 5 months and tonight yet another thing was changing, the weather.

We went from pleasant autumn weather to freezing. Tonight the temperature was going to drop to 20 degrees and the wind blowing all day somehow made me want to pace and be up all night although all I wanted was to fall asleep so I could get up early for what was going to be a busy and possibly difficult day tomorrow.

But the wind outside wouldn’t let me. Condensation grew on the single paned glass as the wind continued it’s affront on the apartment building, letting us know it wouldn’t be ignored.

It was ignored however, by my husband and two dogs. I seemed to be the only one affected tonight. Was it that the turbulent weather reflected my own strained emotions? Or was it simply that the chaos outside compelled me to seek solace in the quite kitchen with a cup of tea if I had one to sip?

I had another theory. It’s hard to know why we do or feel certain ways but I suppose my guess is as good as any.

There are certain nights I believe that are meant for reflection. Some nights sleep evades us and in it’s place comes the summary of our lives and the mediation with our emotions. It’s a night where there are worries but it’s not really the worries keeping you up but the promise of something coming in the future that leaves you restless.

Maybe the coming weather is just bringing out all the feelings of something new coming, because it is. And maybe it’s just a time to acknowledge that and lay back down and know that there will be more time for the future in the morning. Sleep may come or it won’t, it’s always a mystery but the calm inside is the perfect juxtaposition to the storm outside.