I was driving to the first interview I’ve had in almost three years. I was driving straight from my current job, trying to haul ass only to have my foot to the pedal at 65 mph. My truck is a work truck but it’s new and somehow already has an issue. It says it needs exhaust fluid but we already filled it up so the 65 mph limit it’s giving me doesn’t make any sense. I would find out later that it was the tank and not the fluid itself.
But I some how made it with a few minutes to spare which I would need to get through security and find the correct office. I still arrive a couple minutes early and the building was.. old. It was an old mobile home or maybe it was always meant to be a mobile office as there were 4 doors on one side and what I would imagine were all very small offices on the inside, lined with old faux wood paneling and dark like the one I had stepped into.
The interview was okay, it wasn’t horrible but I wasn’t shining like I used to do for interviews a few years ago. Maybe it was because I had just worked a full day and the truck problems were wearing on me. But maybe the truth is that I couldn’t get myself excited for this job which was clearly a step or two down from where I am currently working and my usual lies about how much and why I wanted to work there just weren’t convincing. There comes a point in your life where you grow tired of lying. I’m a very honest person when it counts but we all have told those lies about how passionate we are about sitting in an office all day entering data, looking at numbers, talking to customers and at some point I lost my luster and I couldn’t fake it anymore.
I walked out of the office feeling horrible. I wasn’t worried that I probably wouldn’t get the job or necessarily how my performance in the interview wasn’t my best work, but the fact that I didn’t want this job and I didn’t like the job that I’m in. I’ve hit the proverbial glass ceiling and there is no where to go from here. I may have one or two more minor promotions to go but this is not where I’m going to be forever. I’ve hit my limit with this job and looking for another one in my area doesn’t make sense anymore. The sad thing is that interview was for one of the much better jobs in the area and it was horrible.
I went home, ate a bag of chips then rallied my spirits the next day and knew that I’m not done, just done here and that I will be able to move on soon and finding something better.